Sunday, April 7, 2013

Living with Parkinson's Disease - Year 2



Today marks the two year anniversary of my Parkinson’s Disease diagnosis. While the first year was mostly spent with coming to terms that I have Parkinson’s, the recent year was focused on gaining stability and being more social about it.

Stability has been mostly achieved, when I discount days where “uncommon” activities, like flight preparations or large family events, cause me to have a harder time functioning with limited symptoms showing. An unchanged level of medication for this year keeps me able to work at almost normal intensity, which, if you know me, is rather high. The main problem for me is the very limited usability of my right hand, making handwriting extremely hard and exhausting and typing on the computer more of a left-hand-only activity. Fortunately, my work involves a lot of thinking as well, 100 intelligent words are worth more than 1000 blah-blahs.

Stability, on the other hand, has also been reached by cutting back on certain activities, which saddens me quite a bit. Photography has taken a backseat, for months I have neither taken nor published any new works, with very few exceptions. And for about half a year, if not more, my participation in various social sites was close to nil. I also often worry about the future, mostly concerning questions like “how will I progress?” and “how many good [relative] years do I have left?” Any day on which I am even only slightly off my normal level of symptoms causes a mild panic and quite a bit of useless worries and stress.

Yet, during the last year I also managed to improve and not only maintain the status quo. I am working out now, an activity that I never liked much, and I see a Physical Therapist once a month for extra credit. This certainly has made it possible for me to regain some of the strength that I had lost prior, even some that I never had before.

On the same note, improvements on a mental level have also been made. A major factor here has been that I dared to open up to other Parkinson’s Disease sufferers, or “Parkies” as we as we refer to each other affectionately. This was made possible when I met a person who happens to run a group for Early (or Young) Onset Parkinson’s Disease victims [YOPD] on Facebook and invited me to join. There I met a whole variety of people, some as young as 20something, and some much worse off than I. Learning from these fellow Parkies that I am not alone, not even in my darkest thoughts, is the biggest improvement to date, they truly understand me like no non-suffer can (although some, like my daughter, come pretty close).

My activity in this group has also other positive side effects; I can feel the urge to rekindle my participation in other social sites. If it weren’t for the darn typing and a boatload of work [at work] I already would be fully engaged again! A loooong Winter here in the New York area is now finally also slowly coming to an end, hopefully giving way to some good opportunities for photo shoots. Oh, and speaking of New York, seems like I will meet thousands of Parkies when my family and I will participate in this year’s Parkinson’s Unity Walk in beautiful Central Park in Manhattan.

With that said, I hope to have many more years of writing about my anniversaries, maybe one of them will finally mention a cure and reset my counter to “year one after Parkinson’s!” I keep my fingers crossed!

Ingo

Friday, November 2, 2012

Me, Me, Me, and You


It is 3 o'clock in the morning, October 31st, Halloween. One year ago we were having a power outage that lasted for close to 3 days, a blizzard came through and knocked down the trees that were still carrying all their leaves and couldn't handle the weight of all the snow on top of it.

Well, today also marks day 3 of the current power outage, thanks to hurricane Sandy, and no relieve is in sight, promised is that will have power back by next Monday, that's in 5 days! But what does this all have to do with this entry's title? Well, a lot, actually! Since quite a while I was planning to write about the selfishness of the people I come across every day, on the bus, the subway, and life in general.

Although I was fully aware that I am one of the Me-First people, I sure hoped to be one of the Me-Only-Once-In-A-While-First and actually had a hard time finding a fitting example of my own selfishness. But that changed in the last few days, now that I am sitting here, in the cold, in the middle of the night, worried and mad at the same time.

"If only the power came back on, things would be much better" I am thinking, and "why does it take so long to get the crews to fix the lines." And of course thoughts like "what the f#%* are they doing?" are not far behind. But Reasonable-Me recognizes that I got off easy, I didn't get hurt, property damage is minimal, and I have some ability to get to a store that may have some goods that make my life even more convenient. My main concern is that I cannot get to work for the rest of the week, while other people lost all they owned, some even their own lives.

So, what originally was planned to be an entry about the egomaniacs out there, of which we seem to have more and more, it really turned into an entry about me. How ironic, or how selfish, or both!

Ingo

Sunday, September 9, 2012

A Short


 Freedom

Strolling on a path through rolling fields of grain
On a late summer afternoon with no need to rush
A warm and gentle breeze kindly touches the skin
Run, but don't move, let time stand still
I wish it would never end!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

My Home Is Where My Adrenaline Is


Currently we are in the middle of the European Championship 2012 in Soccer. While I don’t want to talk about this sport in particular, and not even about sports in general, I will use it as an example for attempting to identify what place to call Home.

I don’t think that such a place can live in the heart; too many emotions are associated with this organ. For example, my heart is always with my family, and they are here with me in the US, yet this is not the place I call home. Also, there are no fractions in “heart,” either you got it or you don’t, you cannot have “… my half a heart goes out to you.” So, if heart is not good, then how can I identify where HOME is?

And this brings me back to soccer, and the rush of adrenaline (= epinephrine) I have during the Germany games! No other team could invoke the same reactions, the restlessness, agony, joy, and all the other emotions a rush of adrenaline produces. There are other nations in this tournament that I root for as well (I am a sucker for underdogs - oh surprise), but just not as strongly. And that got me thinking and wondering about this all and I came up with the following definition:

The “Heart” is attached to many sentiments, and either you have it or you don’t. On the other hand, the output of the adrenal glands can be measured, and that allows for the creation of a scale on what can be considered home. For example, while Germany scores a 100% on my “Home Scale,” the US may score an 80%, some other nation a 75%, and so forth.

To sum it up, there can now be many homes, and some are more “homey” than others! Flawed? Maybe, but I like it!

Thanks for reading,

Ingo